i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
