my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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