I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
