when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize