I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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