I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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