I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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