i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
