you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have surprise drugs for everyone
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
