Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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