even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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