Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
