i jhust puked up my retainher.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
