Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
