I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
