i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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