This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
