we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
