Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize