dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
