Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
