i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
