is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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