i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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