ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
