why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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