Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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