distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
