Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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