Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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