dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I understand Curling. That high.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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