Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
