As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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