Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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