Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
