I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I love having hate sex.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
