tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
