No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
