i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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