If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
