physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
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Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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