Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
