Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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