hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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