I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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