My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
