we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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