i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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