the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
