if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
