So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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