I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
