no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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