one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
