You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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