She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
