You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think my moral compass just broke
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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