I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
