He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
