i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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