when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Your mouth is God's brothel.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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